I Yelled At Chubby

So, the other morning, I heard Chubby whimpering starting at 4:55am.  That night, I went to bed at 1:30am.  So, as you can probably guess, i was a total zombie.

At around 6am, I decided that I couldn’t stand her whimpering any longer.  I took her outside.  Chubby was wagging her tail and smiling (I know dogs do not smile but whatever, chubby does).   She wanted to run down the hallway and out the door.   Her tail was wagging furiously.  We went outside where it was in the low 30s/high 20s.  In other words, it was freezing.  I was freezing and I was extremely sleepy.

Chubby did her normal business and started to sniff around as if she was a hound dog.  I closed my eyes just for a split second and the next thing I knew chubby was chomping on some dirty tissues!  So, I was thinking to myself “fine, the white monster can have that one.  If she gets sick, that’s her problem.”  I was way to tired to pry open her mouth to fish it out.

We walked a little bit some more as she was tugging in all direction.  Why can’t Chubby walk in a straight line with her head up like a normal dog?  And then she got another tissue/paper in her mouth and started to chew on it.  This time I dropped to her level and put her head in a head lock to stabilize her head.  And then I pried open her mouth to get the wet nasty tissue in her mouth.  This is very dangerous by the way because she can just close down on  my fingers.  It has happened before and it does not feel good.

I got the tissue out and thew it.  It’s probably landed on someone’s car.  That’s my gift to you Brooklyn.

So, we walked some more and Chubby decided to poop.  When she poops, i put her on a very short leash so that she doesn’t turn around and eat her own poop.  She’s done it many times.  So, with one hand/arm i have her on ther leash who, by the way, is struggling to turn around and eat her poop.  With the other hand, i am desperately trying to open up the doggie bag so that i can pick up her poop.  Well, when the weather is cold, it’s that much harder to open these darn bags.  As you may have guessed, i could’t keep chubby away from her poop.  She swooped in and ate ALL of her poop.

“Chubby!  What the heck is wrong with you!  Bad dog!  Bad white montster!  No more carrots for you for a month!”

I was fuming.  We went back to the apt.

As I was cleaning her paws, she decided to turn around sit on my lap.  Her head turned back and she looked at me as if I was the awesomest thing in her life.  How can you be mad at a dog when the dog acts like this?!  If you know Chubby, you’ll understand this.

So, believe it or not, this is how my morning starts each and everyday.

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